WHAT TO DO TO ESTABLISH YOUR GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS

As Grandparents we possess the ability to add so much to our grandchildren’s lives. The very last thing we want to do is to have to exert our Grandparent rights. If this becomes necessary here a few things to consider. Under the present law structures the “Win the parents over with kindness and consideration” is the most effective way to address any family stresses. I didn’t say it was the easiest, most fun or only way, I merely suggest it is the most effective way to gain and retain your grandparents rights.

First and foremost: Do everything you can to prevent tensions that can build around you and the parent that has custody of your grandkid(s). It can be really hard sometimes to keep your comments to yourself. I always advise grandparents to ask themselves “How much do you want to pay to be right?). An additional benefit to this approach is that the children don’t get caught up in differences of opinion between you and their parent(s).

Change is hard on everyone. I offer the following possibility for your consideration. It may be that Discretion is the better part of valor. If the custodial parent starts a new relationship or remarries it may be in your favor to approach the parent and offer to help in any way, including giving the grandchildren some time to adjust to the change. At the same time you can offer to take the kids any time to allow the parent some time with their new partner. The message you are sending is one of respect for all concerned and this will go a long way to future success in your relationship with the gandchildren.

Having said all of that I want to reemphasize that at any time you may see evidence of or even have a suspicion of the children suffering emotional or physical abuse it is your duty to do what ever is necessary to confront this quickly. The best way to approach any situation like this is by contacting  The Social services agency in the state where the children reside. It is a good practice to ask them for anonymity if possible since this tends to make the perpetrators defensive, but this fear should not be a deterrent to the protection of the children.

Being steady in your love for your grandchildren is the right thing to do on soooooo many levels. It is also the one thing that increases your odds of having a long and mutually beneficial relationship with these wonderful little miracles we call grandkids.

My hope for you is Great-Grandparenting!  GrandpaNEIL