In my books and earlier writing, I have drawn from his wisdom in another powerful book, The Rules of Estrangement. Dr. Coleman’s lived experience, both through his psychology practice and through his once troubled, now repaired relationship with his own daughter, brings us into the heart of family life in a way I have rarely heard or read before.

He brings a depth of compassion and understanding that instructs us and offers hope. We are blessed to have his voice in the grandparenting space.

The reason I stopped reading and wrote that phrase down is because it deeply resonates with my experience as a parent, grandparent, great-grandparent, and now great-great-grandparent.

I was inspired to do a TikTok on this subject this morning. My granddaughter, Kia, posts them for me. I titled this one Grace.

This comes from a man who read I’m OK, You’re OK as well as Dr. Benjamin Spock’s books when my children were small. Wow, how times have changed.

I did then, and still do now, take parenting seriously.

Did I screw up?

Absolutely.

Was it for lack of wanting to do better?

No way.

If you are reading this blog, you are eminently qualified as a Caring Grandparent who is still willing to learn. That is all the more reason you should give yourself some grace.

In my 82 years on this rock we call Earth, I have yet to meet a parent who wakes up in the morning and says, “Let’s see how badly we can mess up our kids today.”

Most parents have good intentions, even when they do not always have the tools they need to parent the way they hoped they would.

My grandparenting philosophy is pretty simple, and it lines up with what I am reading in Dr. Coleman’s work. Mine shows up in a recurring prayer that many of you will recognize as the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.