Wait… I’m the Grandparent?

A Grandparents Day Story for Those of Us Who Got Here a Little Earlier

There’s a funny thing that happens when you become a grandparent young. People don’t believe you. You mention your granddaughter or grandson in casual conversation and someone inevitably says, “Wait…your grandchild?” Yes. My grandchild. I didn’t accidentally skip a word.

I became a grandfather while I was still very much in the middle of my own life. I wasn’t sitting on a porch enjoying retirement. I was working. I was raising children. I was building a career. I had bills. I had dreams. I had places I wanted to go.

And yes, I was still dating. Nothing prepares you for telling someone on a date that you’re a grandfather when they haven’t even decided whether they want dessert yet. “You’re a GRANDPA?”

Yes, and I’m thinking about getting the cheesecake too. There are many layers to me.

I Was Still Raising Kids

That’s probably one of the strangest parts about becoming a younger grandparent. I didn’t cross some magical finish line called PARENTING and then enter the peaceful land of GRANDPARENTHOOD. The two overlapped. I could be dealing with something involving one of my own children and then turn around and be Grandpa. There were moments when I thought: Wait a minute. I’m still raising people. How did we already make MORE people? Suddenly there were generations happening all around me. And somehow I was becoming one of the elders. I wasn’t sure I had agreed to that promotion.

Then Something Unexpected Happened

I discovered that being a grandfather didn’t make me feel older. It actually made my life feel bigger. There was another person to love. Another birthday to celebrate. Another little personality entering our family story. And because I became a grandfather younger, I got something incredibly valuable: time.

I could be active with my grandchildren.
I could go places with them.
I could watch them grow while I was still growing myself.

And that’s something I don’t take for granted.

Grandpa Still Has a Job

My grandchildren have also had to learn something very important about me:

Grandpa works.

Grandpa has meetings.

Grandpa has podcasts.

Grandpa has projects.

Grandpa sometimes has five things happening at the same time and is pretending everything is completely under control.

They get to see me not only as their grandfather but as a man who is still creating a life. I actually love that. I want my grandchildren to see that adulthood isn’t a destination where you arrive one day and stop dreaming. You can become a parent and still dream. You can become a grandparent and still dream. You can be 40, 50, 60, 70 or beyond and decide: I think I’ll try something new.

And Yes, Grandpa Might Still Be Dating

This is the part that really destroys the traditional grandparent image. Some younger grandparents are single. We’re dating. We’re meeting people. We’re figuring out relationships just like everybody else. Except now there may be an additional question on the dating application: “Do you like children?”

Well… How much time do you have? Because I have children. And grandchildren. And everybody has birthdays. And graduations. And sporting events. And emergencies. Welcome to the family calendar. Being a grandparent doesn’t mean your romantic life expires. We’re still human. We still want companionship. We still want adventure. We still want somebody to laugh with. And sometimes we want somebody who understands that if a grandchild calls during dinner. Grandpa may be answering that phone.

The Generations Started Growing Up Together

Then came another surprise. My grandchildren started getting older. That’s when you realize just how quickly life moves. The little child becomes the teenager. The teenager becomes the college student. And suddenly you’re having conversations with your grandchild that aren’t about toys anymore. They’re about school. Relationships. Work. Life. The future. And you realize: We grew up together a little bit.

They watched me change. I watched them change.

They saw different versions of me—not just Grandpa, but James. The working James. The tired James. The ambitious James. The silly James. The James who succeeded. The James who had things go completely sideways and had to start again.

Maybe that’s one of the gifts younger grandparents can give. Our grandchildren get to see us in motion.

Grandparenthood Didn’t Replace My Life

That’s something I wish more younger grandparents heard. You don’t have to disappear into the role. I adore being a grandfather. But I’m also still me. I have work I want to do. Places I want to visit. Things I want to create. People I haven’t met yet. Lessons I haven’t learned yet.There are still chapters of my story that haven’t even been written. Being a grandfather didn’t replace any of that. It added another chapter. And what a chapter it has been.

So This Grandparents Day…

I’m thinking about the younger grandparents. The grandfather dropping off a grandchild before heading to work. The grandmother attending a soccer game and then going home to finish a presentation. The grandparents who still have children living at home. The single grandparents.

The dating grandparents. The grandparents changing careers. The grandparents starting businesses. The grandparents going back to school. The grandparents who still don’t quite understand how they became the grandparents because weren’t we just 30 five minutes ago? I see you.

Our version of grandparenthood may look a little different. We may not be retired. We may not have rocking chairs. And some of us aren’t particularly interested in getting one anytime soon. We’re building careers while building memories. We’re helping our children while loving their children. We’re learning about ourselves while trying to pass along whatever wisdom we’ve managed to collect. We’re growing older while still growing up. And maybe that’s the beautiful part. My grandchildren don’t have to remember me as someone who sat on the sidelines watching their lives. They get to remember that while they were becoming themselves… Grandpa was still becoming himself too.

Happy Grandparents Day to all my fellow younger grandparents. We may have gotten the title earlier than expected. But what a wonderful title to have.

Dr. James Lott, Jr., CTACC, CDC, CNA, CHOC, PMO, OA, DD, Certified Professional Organizer, is the Founder/CEO of The Super Organizer, LLC, and of the Online Network/Entertainment Company JLJ Media. He is a National Speaker/Teacher and Certified Life Coach. He founded and runs the JLJ Media network of over 80 shows (audio and video).

Certified by the Coach Training Alliance, James has been a Certified Life Coach for the past 15 years. He is certified in General Life, Media, Home and Office Organization, and Divorce Coaching. James also holds a Doctorate in Divinity. He also has the weekly Grandparent podcast, Really! I’m a Grandparent and was a Board Chairman of both the SF Church of Compassion and the Harvey Milk Institute.

10 years running, James has one of only several weekly Organizing shows called THE SOS SHOW with James Lott Jr. James is a Number One best-selling Amazon author and has over 60 books. He has several published songs about Organizing. He has been featured in Forbes, Homes & Gardens, Apartment Therapy, and made history on Jimmy Kimmel Live in 2021. James just celebrated 16 years as a Professional Organizer.

James is also a National Keynote Speaker speaking for organizations like: The National Association of Productivity & Organizers, National Association of Perinatal Social Workers, Culver City Garden Club, and Transworld Schools. And has a presentation on UCLA website.

James is a father of two grown daughters and four grandsons and one granddaughter.