Words That Shape a Legacy: 4 Things Every Grandson Needs to Hear

Published by

Greg Payne

Grandsons are fantastic creatures.

Truth be told, many grandfathers also treat granddaughters with a bit more care than grandsons until the granddaughters want to jump right into the wrestling and horseplay between Grandpa and our grandson(s). Then, she gets treated like everyone else…a cute but potentially lethal combatant.

Still, I don't know if it is biology, society, or just what, but I think grandsons are treated differently. It's not better or worse than (hopefully); it's just different. I know from experience that when my grandsons arrived, I felt, like many other grandfathers before me, that I needed to treat this relationship differently.

Bridge

of Trust

and Understanding

To assist grandfathers and anyone working as a mentor with young boys, I have compiled a list of four things that I think every grandson needs to hear. These will help build a bridge of trust and understanding and undoubtedly create the legacy you would like to leave to the young men in your life.

"I'm proud of you."

Our young and older grandsons must know that you see their efforts and growth, not just their achievements. They are at a period of their journey where they will likely try new and exciting activities. Perhaps there is no better time in their lives to make "non-fatal errors." Your encouragement and focus on the pride of the effort and growth that they experience without receiving a trophy, certificate, or being first string on the team helps grandsons build their confidence and sense of self-worth.

"You are loved – no matter what."

Reassuring our grandsons that your love is unconditional gives our grandsons emotional security. It helps them understand that mistakes don't define them and that they always have a place where they belong.

We have all made mistakes, and most of our grandsons will make errors in judgment that we made or had friends make. Letting our grandsons know they are loved no matter what they do will allow them a bridge back to repairing any damage done when they mess up. As perfect as we think our grandchildren are, they will mess up. If they believe that a grandparent's love is conditional, imagine how hard it will be to seek guidance and understanding from you when they need to repair relationships and take ownership of their actions.

"Here's what I've learned"

I considered using this with a caveat of "don't tell your mom or grandma, but…" However, understanding that my mom, my wife, and possibly my daughters-in-law might read this, I will leave out how to use rotten apples and firecrackers to their fullest potential. Instead, this is the excellent part where we become the mixture of a philosopher king and a Jedi master.

When a grandfather shares and talks about life experiences—successes and failures— it teaches our grandsons valuable lessons. You might be talking and thinking that your words are not reaching your grandson as they stare out a window or even appear to focus on a gaming screen. Still, I can assure you they are listening and taking it in. DO NOT discount the wisdom you gained through your trials and victories. Your experience will help guide your grandsons through the challenges and decisions they will encounter.

"You have what it takes."

Every boy faces moments of doubt. Young boys will have doubts and frustrations that will cause their emotions to run hot with avoidance of tasks where they are unsuccessful the first time or two attempting a challenge. Reminding them they are capable and strong encourages them to persevere and believe in themselves.

Even when our grandsons are older and developing that internal drive and determination, having their grandfather cheering them on is something every young man needs. We provide different love and motivation from what Mom and Dad provide. We are that seasoned pro, AND at other times, our voice might just be the one they believe in, respect, and will listen to.

About the Author

Greg Payne is the proud father of two sons and a Cool Grandpa to four fantastic grandchildren. He hosts The Cool Grandpa Podcast, where he interviews grandfathers about how they make their relationships cool. Greg also interviews adult grandchildren about their experiences with their grandfathers and experts in areas important to grandfathers. He has written the award-winning children’s book My Grandpa’s Grandpa. He is married to Karen Mangum and lives with their crazy beagle, Roxy, in Atlanta, Georgia.