One of the biggest reasons why these situations do not work out as planned is the fact that the children cannot make the transition when the change happens. Change is hard especially when it is thrust upon both parties usually through no fault of their own. Children get used to the relationship they have with a grandparent then all of the sudden the relationship changes because now the grandparent is the parent. Many children, especially older kids, end up resenting or even hating their grandparents. His situation is no picnic for the adults either. If you are at the age to be a grandparent you are more than likely at a time in your life when you where winding down to retirement and looking for some quite relaxation time. Now without much warning you find yourself back in the hectic role of parent again. This can be mentally, physically, and financially draining on a grandparent.
If you are a grandparent, and you find yourself in this situation, there are some things that you can do to make the situation better. First, take care of yourself physically. This will give you the energy you need to deal with all of the day-to-day problems that come with raising a child. This may sound a little unnecessary but things have changed since you raised your kids so you might want to take some parenting classes at a church or the local children’s services location. Seek out support groups that help grandparents that are raising their grandchildren. Counseling with your grandchild is probably a good idea especially if you see sighs of odd behavior. Another thing you will want to do is to get an attorney that can make sure all of the legalities are properly taken care of. You will want to make sure that you have power of attorney over the child and make sure all of the papers are filed that give you guardianship of the child.
If you find yourself in this situation first I applaud your accepting this responsibility and I want you to know that there are other resources. There is the GRO (Grandparents Rights Organization), publications such as Grandparents magazine and the AARP. You will find an offer for some 200 well written publications in the upper right hand column of this page to help you in your quest.
Please be well and Happy. NEIL
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