Caring Grandparents will go to the ends of the earth to support and Affirm our grandchildren. It is not only the most powerful thing we can do but it is also a Grandparents Right.
I know you care about your grandchildren because you have come to this site. I will warn you that caring isn’t enough. If you are among the 2.5 million grandparents actually raising grandkids then here is an essential bit of advice. If you see disaster coming the way of the family unit that you grandchild has been living in and the decision is made that the child/children will be better off with you, in most cases everyone hopes for just a while, then documentation is your friend. After the crisis wears on many things kick in, ie. guilt, momentary sobriety, etc., there will be an emotional plea to return the child to the original situation. If this is in “the best interest of the child” then by all means this is appropriate. Unfortunately in most cases this is not the right time. Mostly what you are seeing is temporary remorse. Make no mistake, it is going to be tough decision time so I advise that somewhere on your bathroom mirror you have a not that boldly says, “The best interest of the child”. It may be more powerful to insert the child or children’s names.
If it ever gets to the point of becoming necessary for you to legally protect the grandchildren then several things will give you a better chance. The single most important document will be a consent of the parent (s). This can be for Guardianship or for Custody. The time for this is at the outset when the crisis is full upon the entire family. This should be accomplished in consultation with a Family Law attorney. Let me repeat the most important part of this process. This should be done as early in the process as possible.
In future posts I will be dealing with the need to document everything if you sense or observe a lack of stability in the child’s family unit.
In the mean time pat yourself on the back for caring about the Grand Angels. The is Heroic work.
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