The Power of Small Gestures: Offering Help, Not Hurdles
WHAT TO DO ABOUT FEAR?
March 20, 2025
Grandparents Caring For Grandchildren
March 24, 2025
Parenting is hard, really hard. But as grandparents, it’s easy to forget how exhausting those early years can be. Sleepless nights, endless tantrums, and the constant pressure of juggling work, relationships, and a household can take an immense toll on our children as they raise their little ones. While we may no longer be in the thick of parenting ourselves, we have an incredible opportunity to step up and offer support in ways that genuinely make a difference.
Opportunity to Step Up and Offer Support
A recent experience with my daughter reminded me of this. While on vacation together, I saw firsthand how much she and my son-in-law needed rest. So, when my three-year-old grandson woke up at 5:30 am, I didn’t hesitate. I scooped him up, made breakfast, and took him for a morning walk, allowing my daughter and son-in-law to sleep in. It was a simple gesture, but to my daughter, it meant everything. It was a reminder that she wasn’t in this alone.
I believe most of us forget how hard it was back in the day. Time has a way of softening memories. We might recall the joy of raising our children, the milestones, and the sweet moments, but we often forget the exhaustion, the self-doubt, and the overwhelming responsibility.
It’s easy to think, “Well, we did it, so they should be able to handle it too!” However, we must remember that today’s world presents new challenges. Rising costs of living, increased career demands, and the pressure of social media.
Our children are doing their best, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need help. Even if they don’t always ask for it, a small, thoughtful gesture from us can lighten their load in ways we might not realize.
One thing we must be very mindful of though is that as grandparents, our role is to support, not to take over. We are not the co-parent, and I do my best to live by this idea. While we may have decades of parenting experience, that doesn’t mean we know what’s best for our grandchildren better than their own parents do. It’s not our job to re-parent or insert ourselves into decisions, but rather to offer encouragement, lend a hand when needed, and provide a sense of stability.
Support can come in many forms. Watching the kids for a few hours so parents can have a date night, preparing a meal, or simply being a listening ear. It’s not about taking control but about being a reliable, loving presence.
Crossing Boundaries
A fine line between helping and overstepping.
I say this because there is a fine line between helping and overstepping. I see grandparents crossing boundaries often. One of the most important things we can do as grandparents is to respect those boundaries our children set as parents. It’s natural to want to share advice or do things the way we did them years ago, but our children are navigating their own parenting journey. If they have certain rules, routines, or expectations for their kids, it’s our job to honor them.
This means asking before giving the kids treats, following their routines, and not undermining their authority. Boundaries are not about keeping us at a distance; they’re about ensuring harmony and respect.
Respect those boundaries our children set as parents.
Grandparenting isn’t about rewriting the past, it’s about being present and making life a little easier for the next generation. Sometimes, all it takes is a simple act of kindness:
* Taking the grandkids for a morning walk so their parents can sleep in.
* Offering to help with school pickups or drop-offs.
* Making dinner for the family on a busy evening.
* Being a safe space for venting and encouragement.
These small gestures might seem insignificant to us, but to a stressed-out parent, theycan be life changing.
At the end of the day, the best thing we can offer our children and grandchildren is our time, love, and understanding. We’ve been through the hard years of parenting, and now, we have the chance to be a source of comfort and relief. By stepping up in thoughtful, respectful ways, we’re not just strengthening our bond with our grandchildren, we’re also showing our children that they’re not alone in this journey.
So, let’s step up, lend a hand, and remind our children that just like we were there for them when they were little, we’re still here now cheering them on, supporting them, and making life a little bit easier, one small act of love at a time.
About the Author
Rick Cognata is the creator behind @LegacyofaGrandpa, a vibrant and engaging Instagram account dedicated to empowering grandparents in strengthening their bonds with the next generation. Through relatable content, practical tips, and strategies, Rick helps grandparents improve their relationships, nurture family legacy, and create lasting memories.
In his full-time role as a leadership developer, Rick specializes in new and continuous leader development, focusing on building strong partnerships and driving leadership initiatives. With a deep passion for understanding human behavior and motivating change, Rick brings a unique perspective to both his professional work and his efforts in helping grandparents become even better mentors for their families
