Scarlet Turns 21: A Letter from Papa Jamie

My only granddaughter is turning 21.

Scarlet.

Twenty-one years ago, I held a tiny human who had no idea how much she would change my life. Now she is one year away from finishing college. A whole woman. A whole mind. A whole spirit.

And I’m sitting here wondering how we got here so fast.

Twenty-one is an interesting age. It’s the age the world says, “You’re officially grown.” But what it really means is this: you are standing at the edge of becoming.

Scarlet, if I could sit across from you and speak as your Papa Jamie — not as a media guy, not as a brand, not as anything else — but just your grandfather, I would say this:

I hope you always know who you are before the world tries to tell you who to be.

The world will offer you noise. Opinions. Expectations. Comparisons. Timelines. Pressure. But I hope you build a quiet place inside yourself where your own voice is louder than all of it.

I hope you choose relationships that feel safe. Not dramatic. Not confusing. Not draining. Safe. I hope anyone who walks beside you honors your mind, respects your boundaries, and celebrates your light instead of competing with it.

I hope you take risks — but smart ones. I hope you travel. I hope you try things that scare you a little. I hope you fail once or twice and realize failure is not fatal. It’s formative.

I hope you understand that being strong doesn’t mean you never cry. Being independent doesn’t mean you don’t ask for help. And being a woman in this world does not mean shrinking yourself to make others comfortable.

You are allowed to take up space.

As your grandfather, I hope you protect your peace early. I hope you learn to say “no” without apology. I hope you never confuse attention with love or busy with purpose.

And as you step into 21 — into adulthood in a new way — I hope you build a life that feels intentional.

To all young women turning 21:

This is your foundation year.

It’s not about having everything figured out. It’s about beginning to trust your instincts. It’s about choosing your values before life chooses them for you. It’s about learning financial responsibility, emotional responsibility, and spiritual responsibility.

It’s about understanding that freedom and accountability go hand in hand.

You do not have to rush into becoming someone impressive. Focus on becoming someone grounded.

Scarlet, I don’t need you to be perfect. I need you to be whole.

Finish strong this last year of college. Absorb the lessons. Build your circle wisely. Ask questions. Seek mentors. Make mistakes safely. And know that you have a grandfather who is proud of you — not just for what you accomplish — but for who you are becoming.

Twenty-one isn’t the finish line.

It’s the doorway.

Dr. James Lott, Jr., CTACC, CDC, CNA, CHOC, PMO, OA, DD, Certified Professional Organizer, is the Founder/CEO of The Super Organizer, LLC, and of the Online Network/Entertainment Company JLJ Media. He is a National Speaker/Teacher and Certified Life Coach. He founded and runs the JLJ Media network of over 80 shows (audio and video).

Certified by the Coach Training Alliance, James has been a Certified Life Coach for the past 15 years. He is certified in General Life, Media, Home and Office Organization, and Divorce Coaching. James also holds a Doctorate in Divinity. He also has the weekly Grandparent podcast, Really! I’m a Grandparent and was a Board Chairman of both the SF Church of Compassion and the Harvey Milk Institute.

10 years running, James has one of only several weekly Organizing shows called THE SOS SHOW with James Lott Jr. James is a Number One best-selling Amazon author and has over 60 books. He has several published songs about Organizing. He has been featured in Forbes, Homes & Gardens, Apartment Therapy, and made history on Jimmy Kimmel Live in 2021. James just celebrated 16 years as a Professional Organizer.

James is also a National Keynote Speaker speaking for organizations like: The National Association of Productivity & Organizers, National Association of Perinatal Social Workers, Culver City Garden Club, and Transworld Schools. And has a presentation on UCLA website.

James is a father of two grown daughters and four grandsons and one granddaughter.