“Good Old Days”
Just as the “Good Old Days” may be old but not necessarily Good, I think we would do well to examine some of our sayings. Please don’t get me wrong; this has nothing to do with being Politically Correct. This has to do with the seeds we plant in our Grandchildren. This has a lot to do with expectations. This has everything to do with being a true great grandparent.
Rock-a-bye baby,
On the treetop.
When the wind blows,
The cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall
And down will come, baby
Cradle and all.
Years ago, when I was in Toastmasters, I presented Lullabies. One glaring example I used was “Rock- a bye Baby.” Just consider the first line of that nursery rhyme.
Ouch!
The one I am reexamining as a Grandparent lately is “Boys Will Be Boys.” If it is a vehicle to understanding, that may be alright, but if it is a path to excusing behaviors that aren’t appropriate, not so much. It sounds innocuous enough, but like Rock a Bye, Baby, it would do us well to suss out its message. I have been blessed with a son that turned out to be a fine man. During his “challenging years,” his mother and I didn’t excuse bad behavior with a cliche. We stayed the course with a high standard for him to look up to without resorting to Gestapo tactics. This is a place where Grandparents sometimes tend to “spoil” their Grands with what they think are the best of intentions. This doesn’t mean you have to be paranoid; check in with the parents, preferably with the kids listening, so they know you care enough to act in concert with their parents.
The foundation of Good to Great Grandparenting is, first and foremost, to be singing from the same hymnal as the parents. To support those parents at every turn. I had always asked my children if there was anything, in particular, I should be aware of when I was taking the Grands for an outing or watching them for a weekend. To my utter Joy and amazement, they responded that they were okay with my decisions. They KNOW I have the kids’ best interest in mind, not just being the Coolest Grandpa I can be. It is also remarkable that my Grands think Grandpa Neil is “Cool.”
This makes sense if and only if you are intentional about being the best Grandparent you can be.
Thank You for being a Caring Grandparent.
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