Where do I stand on grandparent visitation rights?
Baby-Boomers are now Grand-Boomers
February 16, 2010Grandparents custody – How do we help everyone?
February 17, 2010
THIS IS WONDERFUL
This can be a confusing question to answer. As far as state laws go, many states still allow for grandparents visitation. The problem with this is that there are only certain circumstances and situations in which a grandparent can file for visitation rights. Since the Supreme Court ruled in 2000 that parents that are, and this is important, “deemed fit” have the controlling rights over their children and rightfully so. Many states are starting to look into their grandparents visitation statues and whether they are constitutional.
Following the 2000 Supreme Court decision California, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, and Ohio found that their statutes where unconstitutional. Arizona, Mississippi, Missouri, Rhode Island, South Dakota and Tennessee make grandparents prove that visitation has been denied when they petition the court for grandparents visitation rights. On the other hand, there are states that are more lenient. There are several states that are stricter that will not override the objection of a natural parent under any circumstance. This is why if you are thinking of going to court to force grandparents visitation rights you need to research the laws of your state which are described in the Grandparents Rights manual at the top of the right column on this page.
This is why that if you are considering going to court you need to go through other steps first and only go to court as a last resort. The first alternative to try is to resolve the dispute with your children without using the courts. This is the best route for all concerned. Some of the ways that this can be accomplished is by using counseling, mediation, or dispute resolution counselors. These methods are going to have a monetary cost but they can be the best solution and if you go to court, the judge is going to order counseling as a first step anyway. This way if you do have to go to court you have already done the first step, which will make your case go a little faster.
Of the utmost importance is for you to maintain contact with your grandchildren. If you go to court, you will have to prove to the judge that you have a close and ongoing relationship with the child so you have to keep in contact. Even if the parents will not allow physical visits, you can send cards, gifts, and photos through the mail, you can also attend sports events, concerts, and other public events that your grandchild is involved in anything you can think of to stay in touch with your grandchild will help if you end up going to court.
Please be Well and Happy. NEIL
3 Comments
Heartbroken….Have not seen our grandchildren in almost 2 mo. and live 9 miles away from us…Daughter is angry because she has twisted events around, and accuses me of being an drinking too much, (not true and never when kids are around) and have been a mother to my grandson, the older of the two…She and grandson lived with us during and after her divorce for 5years…free…We took care of him while she worked and then partied all night….basically raised him….fREE room and board, and now after taking kids to library programs while she works, paying for grandson’s gym classes….on and on..LOVE BEING WITH THEM — don’t care if I ever see my ungrateful daughter who is now married to recovering..(right) crack addict, has another child with him..and has been in rehab 2 times in the last 4 times and had a slip up as well during that time…I am sick over this and want to know in Florida if I have to pursue this, what visitation rights do my husband and I have…He is on my side…Photos of the grandkids all over….my desk, house…Sick over this …She is ungrateful, and mean spirited and the kids suffer for it …they LOVE GRAMMA so much.. Help
Grandma Jan,
It is because of grandparents just like the two of you that I have created this web site. Injustice is the reality for the two of you and your grandson and that may take time to change. In the mean time it is imperative that you sort out what is going on. Being angry about the injustice and hurt of the past won’t get you one bit closer to your goal. Yes, it sucks, but it is not useful right now. That is the hard part.
Let’s get to it. First write down the timeline of the events you stated about taking care of him while your daughter was working, etc. Just get it all down and it need not be real accurate. What you need to do is create the pattern of your care and concern. Cry if you must but keep the anger off that page and pour out the concern.
Contact you local bar association to find a family law attorney for a consultation. I won’t lie to you, Florida is a tough state to navigate legally on grand parents rights.
Check out the http://www.AARP.org web site as well as http://www.grandparentsrights.org. One or both of these may have some local support group activity that will be invaluable. Read everything you can get your hands on having to do with this subject.
I hope and pray that this is the beginning of a successful journey for you two but especially for your grandson.
Good luck and stay in touch. NEIL
Jan says:
July 25, 2010 at 11:49 am
“Heartbroken….Have not seen our grandchildren in almost 2 mo. and live 9 miles away from us…Daughter is angry because she has twisted events around, and accuses me of being an drinking too much, (not true and never when kids are around) and have been a mother to my grandson, the older of the two…She and grandson lived with us during and after her divorce for 5years…free…We took care of him while she worked and then partied all night….basically raised him….fREE room and board, and now after taking kids to library programs while she works, paying for grandson’s gym classes….on and on..LOVE BEING WITH THEM — don’t care if I ever see my ungrateful daughter who is now married to recovering..(right) crack addict, has another child with him..and has been in rehab 2 times in the last 4 times and had a slip up as well during that time…I am sick over this and want to know in Florida if I have to pursue this, what visitation rights do my husband and I have…He is on my side…Photos of the grandkids all over….my desk, house…Sick over this …She is ungrateful, and mean spirited and the kids suffer for it …they LOVE GRAMMA so much.. Help”
While I do not doubt that something is amiss with your daughter, I question your willingness to smear her on a public forum. YOUR OWN DAUGHTER!!!!!! Get a room and work it out! There are always 2 sides to every story and your admitted drinking at all sounds to me like the kids should have been taken from both of you and placed in a well loving home.
I am certain I will be going through this grandparent rights crap myself as my X walked away and never responded to the courts directions on custody, Her mother is attempting to step up to the plate as the matriarch of her family and gain something she has NO rights to, MY CHILDREN! I do not relinquish rights to anyone where they are at risk and that includes my X’s mother. There is her side, and I will state it here, she has seen the children a total of maybe 3 times since they were born, (Children are 12 and 10), she has bought the kids ONE set of story books since birth and favors my daughter as their own mother did over my son. Now thats her side of this story. Mine is she will not curse the children as she is completely unable to control her mouth under ANY circumstances as she will NOT be told how to speak in the presence of ANY child weather under her control or not, she has never had a relationship with these kids, opting for silence instead of a loving relationship. She Mentally abuses her sisters child she has adopted calling him a Bastard, stupid Bastard. She has lost custody of her own foster children as she went on a drinking binge from one bar to another for over a period of atleast 60 days effectively ending her foster mother status in her own home state. And there has been threats on, not only my life, but on the kids themselves from the kids mother, and I will NOT place these children at risk by ANYONE. This is only an attempt to circumvent the the custody decree not allowing contact between the kids and their mother.