What happens to the grandparents’ relationship with a child when a parent suddenly returns after a few years, then demands that the grandparents retreat to their earlier role?
If you are a grandparent who took on a long-term parental role with a grandchild, there are certain grandparent family rights you may feel entitled to.
Even though parents are usually presumed to be fit and able to care for their children without interference, sometimes courts realize that those who have relied on grandparents as substitute parents must allow those grandparents to continue to be in the child’s life in order to avoid harm to the child placed in the middle.
Some states have an expansive interpretation on grandparent visitation rights while others take a narrow interpretation on grandparent visitation rights. In some instances, the parent has to prove that contact with the grandparents will be detrimental to the child involved. In some instances the burden of proof is on the grandparents.
To find out more about the current state of grandparents visitation rights in the USA you might want to get a copy of my book No Greater Loss.
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Hello,
My son died a couple of months ago and because of my daughter-in-law's animosity toward me, the last time I was able to see my grandchildren was at his funeral.
I have not been allowed to visit with them on their birthdays. The way the conversations are headed, I probably will not get to see them on Christmas. She says that some of them don't want to see me, but that is because she has poisoned their minds. She says the youngest would probably like me to take her shopping for her birthday next me, but she won't agree to it.
I am even at a loss as to why she resents me so much. She gives me strange excuses, which end up being all about her and have nothing to do with the children. As far as I'm concerned, my relationship with my grandchildren should not be based on how she feels about me.
If you have any advice I would appreciate it.
All states have some form of Grandparents rights but that should be the path of last resort. The number one piece of advice I have is to not get drawn into any exchanges with the mother that will escalate the conflict. Not knowing the circumstance I can only give you general best practices and if you need more I would consult, early on, with a Family Law attorney that handles Grandparents rights cases. Check with your local Bar Association.
The other thing you can do is to document your relationship with the Grandkids. Pictures, videos, notes, cards and just write down the times, trips, etc. you have spent with them in the past and going forward. I wish there was more I could offer and I wish you the best going forward. You are obviously a Caring Grandparent.
Grandpa NEIL