There are grandparents rights and there are grandparents rights

ABOUT THE CHILDREN

In the news almost every day we learn of some very sad and nearly impossible to comprehend situations of child neglect and abuse.  Here in Charlotte North Carolina the other day a woman left her 4 young children sleeping completely alone in a home with a kerosene heater in the bedroom.  The house caught on fire and a seven year old daughter and 4 year old son survived but tragically their 1 and 2 year old brothers perished in the flames.  The neighbor who saved the two older children heard screams of “Mommy, Mommy”.  After saving the two children she tried to enter the house again but the flames drove her back.   The mother was nowhere to be found.  To add to this horrific event, just 4 months prior the mother had been charged with child neglect in connection with leaving her children home alone.  Two years earlier, before either of her deceased sons were born she was convicted of possession of cocaine and she also had other brushes with the law.  How different this could have been if  caring grandparents would have stepped up and asserted their grandparents rights and taken custody of these children?  This kind of tragedy is what the grandparents rights legislation is aimed at preventing.  It allows an observant grandparent(s) to have standing in the court in the best interest of the children.

On the other hand I have a friend who, because of the actions of her now deported husband has been a single mom to 4 children for the past 5 years.  There has been no support from him, however,  she allows the kids to keep in touch with him in San Salvador.  I can tell by her proud stories of her kids complete with pictures and what her friends say about her that she is a dedicated and wonderful mother.  She works two jobs and the rest of her life is her children.  Over the past couple of months her now 15 year old daughter started faltering in her studies and come to find out she had a boyfriend who, according to her older brother, was a gang member who caused trouble.  Mom wisely stepped in to protect her daughter and wouldn’t allow her daughter to see this boy.  Come to find out on weekends when her daughter was visiting her grandmother on her dads side of the family she was allowed to see this guy.  The daughter became more difficult at home and stated she wanted to go live with the grandma.   It went so far that social services was called on this unsuspecting mother and the grandma was part of the problem.   You get the picture.  This is WRONG, it is not a grandparents right to alienate a child from her mother under any circumstances much less to be popular with her son and  granddaughter.  This is the kind of behavior that gives grandparents rights legislation a bad name.  I just want to scream “IT IS ALL ABOUT THE CHILD’S WELL BEING”.

I have read many case studies and it is heart wrenching when you see these kinds of things happen.  It is my hope that every child knows, at the very least, one grandparent who cares deeply for them and especially for those children in peril.    Our grand angels deserve all the love and support to help them reach their potential.  I would suggest you know your rights as a grandparent even if things look good on the home fronts.  Since the divorce rate is around 50%, if it is not you or me, someone we know will have to face a changing family situation.  There are things that the grandparents can do to provide some semblance of family stability during turbulent times.  It is a gift and a responsibility as grandparents to do everything in our power to be there for our grandchildren and the magic is that it is our greatest and best purpose at this juncture of our lives.  I wish you Great Grand parenting.    NEIL