In part 4 of THE STATE OF GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS I want to highlight how difficult this issue is. As Grandparents we need a little perspective on this issue. It is excruciatingly hard to stand by and watch a disintegrating family unit using their children as a lever to punish their spouse. This is precisely where we as Caring Grandparents need help. We must also understand that the complexity of the need for Grandparents rights lends itself to unintended consequences as well.
Let’s take a look at the third Question this subcommittee wrestled with. Senator John East raise the following question and his reasons for asking it. “3) What should be the extent of such legislation?
“An extremely important question is the abrogation of the parent-child relationship during the ongoing marriage, as contrasted with making decisions about child custody when the marriage is being dissolved. If grandparents are restricted from access to grandchildren in an ongoing marriage, that means, that it is a mutual parental decision. Should we be subjecting mutual parental decisions made in a whole marriage to adjudication? Can the courts stand in the position of the parents well enough to decide whether the parental judgment is or is not reasonable? Is it in “the best interest of the child” per se to question parental decisions in the whole marriage and to weaken parental authority? Access to courts establishes a certain kind of power. Will the threat of adjudication influence reasonable parental decisions adversely? These are some of the questions to be raised in permitting adjudication of the grandparent’s right or privilege of visitation with grandchildren when the marriage is whole.”
“When marriage dissolves, the equities change. Children of divorce are, already, subject to substantial trauma with lasting effect. The conflict between the parents already jeopardizes the child’s welfare. In addition, a court and any adjunct services are already involved. The issue of best interest of the child is already before the court, and the need to call upon all available resources is apparent”
It is my opinion that when the family unit is least stable is exactly the time the Grandparents can play a key role that speaks directly to “the best interest of the child”.
My hope is that this sharing of the process of this subcommittee will help us all to realize two things. First is that this is one of the most important subjects in the lives of millions of young people, not to mention their Caring Grandparents and second is the need to broach this subject in a manner that in no way undermines Parental Rights.
Stay tuned. More to come.
Thank You for being a Caring Grandparent.
One of the tenets of my Dale Carnegie training is that we should speak in…
