There would be little need for any Grandparents Rights legislation, family court and/or mediation if it wasn’t for all of the power dynamics, manipulation and or perceived slights that seem to permeate families. By the time things get to the point of a “Rights struggle” there has been a lot of water under the bridge. I hear a lot of stories that begin in the Labor and Delivery room at the hospital. Many more come of marriage breakups, etc. We now add the Opioid crisis and we have a recipe for so many missed opportunities for allowing our grandchildren the benefit of the Love and sense of security that a family should be providing.
I wish to be crystal clear here, there are bad actors on both sides of these conflicts and sadly sometimes they are simultaneous. Even some folks with seemingly good intentions inflict complications by failing to recognize other peoples point of view.
One prime example is the Labor and delivery room. We have an, at the least, stressful atmosphere fraught with excitement, fear, anticipation and any other emotion you wish to throw in there. In addition to clueless father to be, a scared mother to be, you usually have two sets of grandparents. Delivery rooms for good or bad, have become a bit like theater. Who can blame the grandparents for wanting to be part of this momentous occasion? There are no bad intentions involved. What are the odds for some misreads on the power dynamics of this occasion?
For the sake of example what do you think would happen if, before this event, the paternal grandparents sat with their daughter-in-law and told her that as much as they would love to be a part of this whole deal they will rather give her and her parents room to celebrate this event. There will be plenty of time for bonding with their little Grand Angel. Don’t you think this would speak volumes to your future relationship with both your daughter-in-law and grandchild as well. Just so you know I have never met a grandchild who felt slighted that all their grandparents weren’t there to hear their first cry.
This is just one possibility when it comes to building a great relationship within a family.
thanks for being a Caring Grandparent. Grandpa NEIL