IS SPOILING ONE OF THE GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS?

More Grandpa

We all fall into the conversation about our grandkids and how we looooove to spoil them.  I happen to think it is one of our GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS to spoil our grandchildren, however we can choose three roads to that end.      1)  We can give them anything they want and watch them turn green from eating too much candy, soft drinks and ice cream.  2) We can give them some decent if not healthy snacks and drinks and throw in a couple of piping hot Tollhouse cookies.  (Excuse me for a minute, I need to make a quick trip to the kitchen)  I’m back now and my tummy is happy.  3) We can check with their parents and see what they should and should not have to eat and drink and communicate that we are doing this in solidarity with their parents.  I vote for door number 2, or is that the best choice?

Let’s take a look at these options.  I am confident that anyone who is reading a CaringGrandparents blog isn’t going to choose the first one.  We are not called to grandparenthood to undo all that our kids try to instill into their kids.   On one of my favorite sites, Grandparents.com the question of the week this week is ” What kind of food do you give your Grandkids?”.  The responses were varied and real.   The thoughtful grandparents that are involved in finding out new and better things for their grandkids are not the kind of folks that take the easy way out and give into trading the perception of love for sugar.

We have all been taught that moderation is the way to go so that is why the second solution sounds logical. and maybe it is for you and your grandchild.  I do however think there is the world and all of difference between Grandmas Special cookies or French Toast, or Cake and the idea that eating fun food is like getting away with something that doesn’t float at home.  I am all for the wonderful memories that can be created around a glass of milk and a couple cookies.

So, why am I even going onto door number 3?  I have two very solid reasons for this idea.  One is based on the health of our grandchildren.  Some kids react different to various combinations, especially caffeine and sugar.  Others have allergies or varying degrees of reactions to things like Peanut Butter, etc.  But realizing that you are probably dialed into all that, and their parents are probably going to be pretty flexible anyway, my main reason for choosing this option is that there is tremendous power in solidarity and unity in communicating with children.  In addition to the letting them know that you are discussing all of this with their parents.  I conveys concern, love and stability of family when your grandchildren know you care enough about them to sing from the same hymnal as their parents.  It is even more important if the parents aren’t together.  Involving the input of both parents can give the children a sense that all is not lost and amiss in the world.  That people can reach across their own differences when it comes to the children.  It won’t work miracles necessarily but it is a subtle difference that can only help the kids regardless of the strength or instability of the family unit.  To paraphrase a cliche, a child raised by a caring village has more self esteem and strength than a kid that works the system to get their own way.

As Caring Grandparents we have a unique and powerful opportunity to add soooooo much value to our time with our grandchildren.  I hope you consider spoiling them with real concern and love instead of just sugar.

BE WELL AND HAPPY,  NEIL