These changes can occur because of the death of one of the parents or (as is true in one half of the marriages) a divorce that results in an extended family and all sorts of legal implications. In increasing numbers we are seeing drug use and/or incarceration causing instability and peril to our grandchildren.
As sad and complicated as these situations are I would submit that as a family we should circle the wagons and protect the little ones first and foremost and then tend to the wounded spirits of the adults.
This should not be a debate about parents rights and grandparents rights. We should frame this frame this as CHILDREN’S RIGHTS.
My guess is that coming at it from this focal thrust would cause the players to cooperate more and be less defensive. Or maybe we should take the word “rights” out of the discussion completely. I am not sure what will result in the intended outcome of the children getting a fair shake and the adults having to act like adults but I am willing to keep this conversation going and going until we get closer to what this is supposed to be about: “the best interest of the child”.
Thinking that I am naive would be wrong and unproductive. For as long as I can remember I have been involved in some project or study that enriched and empowered young people. I am most proud and humbled that I have two very wonderful, loving and lovable adult children who have carried this legacy forward in many ways. This very web site is my contribution to furthering the plight and improving the futures of children caught in the cross fire of life’s complications.
It would be fine with me if you dismiss me because you don’t agree with me but not because you don’t think I care. Enough said.
Grandparents rights are most important to the grandkids because they are family members that in almost all cases care more about the outcome than an overworked and under paid social worker, one that is constrained by so many legal parameters and politically correct expectations. Most states now have laws on their books that at least give the grandparents the right to stand up in a court of law and advocate on behalf of the children. Until just recently, that was not the right of a grandparent.
If you want to learn more you can find a variety of useful publications about these issues through The Custody Center.
Please feel free to agree, disagree or add to the conversation by leaving a comment.
Thanks,
NEIL
One of the tenets of my Dale Carnegie training is that we should speak in…
