There are things that we can do to exercise our grandparents rights when there are storms of family strife all around us. One evolution in the area of grandparents rights is that in most states Grandparents have a much easier time of showing standing in the courts. This may seem like a shallow victory but it is none the less a hard fought one.
I can’t even fathom the frustration of Grandparents in the past that after being there for their Grandchildren for many years to be cut off from contact and to add considerable insult to injury not even get a day in court. From this point of view having standing in the courts is progress.
In most families there is more than one set of Grandchildren. This is where it is important to do what we can to preserve our Grandparents rights. The key strategy is to recognize and accept your place in the family order. If you are a blood relative to the mother your chances are pretty good. If you are an in-law to the Mom you would do well to give great thought to this family order. This “consideration” starts before and during the birth of your Grandkids. There are things that are done with the best of intentions, ie. wanting to be front and center, wanting to be such an integral part of the birth process, etc. that may be better left to the other side of the family and you offer support where you can. All I have learned about this subject tells me that a lot of problems start at this highly charged time in family life.
You will have to find your own way to handle this but I do implore you to step back and give it some thought. Let me conclude by quoting something from my book; “”The reality of life is that it is complicated. The reality of family is that it is a multiple of complicated and the reality of extended family is that it is exponentially complicated.”
I wish all of you Caring Grandparents well. Grandpa Neil