You may be surprised to know that over 6 million households (Headed by Heroic Grandparents) in America today are involved in rescuing grandchildren from non-functioning family units. Many of these arrangements are informal in nature. This causes all kinds of problems for Grandparents Rights in every case as well as added instability for the grandchildren.
Here is how it works in many cases. The increasing number of single Moms as well as, to a lesser extent single Dads, move back home with their children for economic reasons. In only half of these 6 million grandparent led households is there a parent present with the children. That leaves the other half of the grandparents to become parent to their own grandchildren. Even in the best of cases this is a life altering experience for the grandparent(s). The most obvious challenges have to do with finances, emotional upheaval of Children, parents and grandparents, generational differences in understanding, disappointment, and on and on. However here is the biggy, a parent that waltzes back in after some time and decides to take the kids, not because it is good for the children but because they can. In way to many cases this behavior is repeated time and again.
The sad part is that they can do this even over the objection of the grandparents and /or the children. Some of the saddest case studies I have read play out exactly this way. Even the cases where the situation isn’t this dire there are many consideration having to do with Grandparents Custody rights. Even things as simple as enrolling the grandchildren in school, getting medical services, etc. are difficult without some agreement of temporary or permanent custody.
I feel this is too important for a do it yourself solution. There are resources available to you for just this. The AARP has a good resource . They have an AARP Grandparent Information Center which has a Social Outreach and support program to help you with this. The most current phone number I have is (202) 434-2296. A quicker solution is to get a consultation with a Family Law attorney in your area. Check with your state Bar Association for who these attorneys are.
I admire your willingness and bravery for taking on this responsibility. You have my gratitude and support.
My hope for you is Great-Grandparenting. Grandpa NEIL