All family professionals say that custody of any child after an agonizing separation or an ongoing divorce case is definitely one of the most heart wrenching and emotionally draining encounters any parent or grandparent could face. This is because the process involves not just adults who have the skills to move forward and go on to live a new life but more focused on what is in store for kids after the inevitable break up. Parents and grandparents are closely involved in the happinesss of the children.
If you are a grandparents who has a child in the process of divorce and involved in a child custody battle, then you should stop dwelling on your past and move ahead for the betterment of the people that you love the most—your children.
Parents and grandparents who are into a fight for their children’s custody should be ready head on to face this challenging experience. They should also be ready to face all the challenges and difficulties to emerge as winners. In these cases no one really wins.
Experts say that one important key in ensuring that any parent or grandparent will be victorious in any child custody case is by being armed with as much information needed. If the party is knowledgeable enough on the child custody battle, he or she would be able to understand the situation better and would be able to come up with strategies to ensure victory after the case.
To be able to get as much information on child custody, you can consult a lawyer and ask him or her to explain the terms and conditions underlying any child custody case. Since lawyers are the experts on legal issues, they would be able to make you understand as simple as possible all things that you want to know on child custody.
You can also check various online sites in the Internet for you will have an idea what entails a child custody case and what you can do to ensure that you will be victorious in the end. You can check print sources like my book No Greater Loss relating to child custody and how to win it. Here, you can also find first- hand information and you can even adapt the broader strategies to use on your own setting.
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6/18/11
My name is Ed Altman, and I live in Cherry Hill, NJ. We are the maternal grandparents of a little boy named Tristin Baker. He’s 3 1/2 years old.
On September 20th, 2010, we lost our 24 year old daughter Shanna Baker to suicide, mostly because the NJ DYFS system and the Camden County Courts were about to take Tristin away from Shanna, Tristin’s mom.
You see, Shanna suffered from Bi-Polar Disorder and a year before she died, she had an episode where she was escaping from her abusive husband William Baker (who is still at large, but we believe he’s staying in Wisconsin now with his family and according to his Facebook page). So Tristin was taken a year before from Shanna in September of 2009, when she was at a ShopRite and the police were called (Shanna was not on her behavioral meds and lost her mental perspective that night, requesting that she be hospitalized and treated).
In the meantime, NJ DYFS (before removing Tristin from her) should have checked to see if Donna-Marie and I (the next of kin) could watch Tristin while Shanna was treated by the hospital for her symptoms. But DYFS never called us at all that day. And that is what caused the timeline as to where we are today.
The foster mother has been watching Tristin for about a year and 6 months now. We have been in Tristin’s life since birth. We as grandparents in January 2010 were granted only an hour a week visitation with Tristin on Wednesdays. We’ve never missed a session with him (other when he had an illness or had surgical tubes placed in his ears). However, Judge Octavia Melendez from the Camden County NJ Family Court is deciding soon whether or not to permanently place Tristin with the foster mother. She (the foster mother) has 5 children, NONE OF THEM ARE HERS, all adopted.
Here we are, the next viable step in Tristin’s life, and we already lost our daughter. Now, we’re about to lose Tristin permanently to the foster mother. Shanna left 8 suicide notes, given to us by the West Deptford NJ Police Department 6 months after her death. One of the notes is a hand written letter from Shanna asking the courts to place Tristin with myself and my wife Donna-Marie. Her last wish on this earth was for her parents to raise him.
DYFS ordered a bonding evaluation from a Dr. Gruen, who we felt was completely biased and felt that Tristin would suffer permanent damage if he left the foster mother. That was a completely biased, one-sided opinion, formed from a sole one-hour visit in his office with a half-asleep Tristin visiting there in unfamiliar territory. The foster mother must’ve been fully prepped on how to do a bonding evaluation, having 5 other children in her home and going through this before.
We have barely had time to grieve for Shanna's loss. Our home was delayed getting inspected because Shanna had over 190 boxes of things for us to go through, and lots of memories and jewelry and items took a long time to go through, And the DYFS lawyer tried to use that against us, along with Judge Melendez.
Please help us. I know that NJ DYFS has had some serious trouble in their past dealings recently. I hope you can help us to raise our grandson in our safe, lovely Cherry Hill home.
I work at Burns Honda in Marlton (for 8 ½ years now) as an internet salesperson. My wife Donna-Marie is an ex police officer and EMT. My two other children are Corey, age 17, a junior at Cherry Hill West, and Joshua, proudly serving in the US Air Force at Warner Robins Air Force Base in Macon, Georgia. He’s a senior airman and aircraft engine mechanic. Both of these siblings of Shanna have also formed a relationship with Tristin and have attended visitation sessions.
Thanks for your consideration. Judge Melendez’ decision will be made on July 1st, so we don’t have much time left. My cell phone number is 856-278-1147.
Sincerely,
Ed Altman
I just want to say, first of all, that I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Also, I know that it also seems like a "loss" with your grandchild as well. I know that pain. I know that you are hurting very much, and I am so sorry for that. But, please don't give up hope, you have to fight, fight, fight!! Document everything...go on facebook, to the "control center" from child abuse, and child custody issues..they have so many useful links to help you. DFACs, specifically the department that investigates abuse issues, and assigns foster parents, etc., are up for NEW regulations, and there are also CLASS ACTION LAWSUITS against their unfair practices, such as yours. These lawyers are rallying for child custody cases to justify the class action suit, so please, go on there and sign up..they can help you!
Good luck!! If I can help in any other way, please feel free to contact me. I am a advocate against child abuse, and this is one of the issues we hear everyday, so know that you are not alone in all of this!
God Bless!!
Colleen