GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS ARE NOT FOR EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY

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neil

The deeper I dig into the area of Grandparenting and the need for some form of Grandparents rights I find some statistical as well as anecdotal consistencies. I find more and more that extended families with 6-8 grandchildren will be fine with 2/3rds or 3/4ths of the grandkids but may experience trouble with effective visitation and correspondence with that smaller fraction of the family. This is a generalization, of course, but I make it to clarify a point about Grandparenting in general.

Statistically there will be a greater challenge if the family unit that is experiencing trouble is headed by your son. The other two major aggravating factors are Drug abuse and/or incarceration. From my reading it seems that in these cases guilt and false pride play a big role in emotionally charged rather than caring and intelligent decision making.

Regardless of the motivating factors for obvious reasons this is exactly the time and place for Caring Grandparents involvement for the sake of the children. An observation here is that you may well have to choose between trying to retrain your own children or rescuing the Grandchildren. Just a thought.

The good news is that the vast majority of the Grandparent/Grandchild relationships, even in families that have experienced divorce, death, etc., are flourishing with healthy and valuable interaction on a regular basis. This is what I call GRANDPARENT POWER. We are gifted the opportunity to lavish these wonderful little and big kids with all the love and attention they deserve.

My hope for you is Great-Grandparenting! Grandpa Neil

neil

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Nannette Gilbert says:

October 31, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Death of one or the other of the parents can be a big issue also. My son-in-law committed suicide about 18 months ago. It is very challenging for my daughter and her in-laws to maintain contact.

Since they all are trying to see what is best for the children, everyone is able to put aside most personal feelings and continue visitation.

However, I (I am the other grandma) worry what happens as the granddaughters get older and understand more. Right now they only vaguely remember their dad's death, have no idea what suicide means nor the blame that can result from such deaths.

Hopefully no one ever ends up in court over this.