If you are a Grandparent who never failed at anything, you should take a Cat Nap for the next few minutes instead of reading this article………..That’s what I thought.
A few weeks ago, I had extended ride time with my 15-year-old grandson, and we gabbed about all kinds of stuff. When we were near home, I took him down the ¾ mile driveway to the A-Frame house I built when my son was a mere lad. Needless to say, it is a project that I am pretty proud of. However, the conversation also included the Boo-boos that went along with that venture.
This led to a lot of conversation around stories of the family and especially about my son growing up there on the farm. I also openly speak of some of my failures, making it much easier and more believable when I talk with them about their own failures and problems. The difference is that this atmosphere of openness becomes empathy instead of a lecture. It also allows young people not to get stuck in some fear of something that probably won’t happen.
I have had many troubles in my life, very few of which actually happened.
As we did with our children, we encourage them to be responsible for their actions and who they become. They are 100% accountable for the good and the not-so-good things they choose. I call it setting the stage. It sets the stage for open conversation; it sets the stage for dreaming big dreams. I had never built anything, but now my grandson Gabriel gets to see what happens when you desire big and act, even if every corner in that house is not perfectly square. Oh yeah, I also teach that perfect is the enemy of done, and that true craftsmanship is the Art of adjustment. These teachings empower them to try, regardless of the fear that inevitably sets in. You can rest assured that he and I revisit these conversations a lot, and I love that it is one of those things that keep us connected. That day when we pulled into his driveway, he said, “Grandpa Neil, I like riding with you; we get to talk about a lot of neat things.”
Meaningful connection is a surefire way to keep them returning in the good and bad times. That is the power of being a Caring Grandparent.
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