IT AIN'T FAIR!
THE WAY IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE
Being estranged from a Grandchild is an arrow to the heart. We will do anything to re-establish that connection. From the extreme of legally asserting our Grandparents Rights if possible, to, let’s face it, BEGGING. No matter where you are on this continuum it is important that you retreat to your Caring Grandparent place and make a strategic plan before you do anything. Without such a plan we are often tempted to fall back on the old “It ain’t fair” thinking that may have contributed to where we are in this relationship in the first place. Please don’t shoot the messenger, I am firmly, albeit observantly, on your side.
I believe our goal is time with our Grandchildren.
One approach is to find an avenue to vent your anger and frustration other than within the family. Things communicated in the family have a way of reaching their intended target. We are right back at “How much do you want to pay to be right?” This has no place in your re-connect strategy if you want it to succeed. I would never advise just swallowing those feelings. Since you are a Caring Grandparent those feeling run deep. All I am suggesting is that you take that challenge some place else.
If you hope to get your nose back under the tent please think long and hard about what it is that you really want to accomplish. I believe our goal is time with our Grandchildren.
If you can recognize an area of need, ie. baby sitting, trips to doctors, money, etc. that the custodial parent has that is where it would be wise to start. Odds are it was a long road to where the relationship is now so the return trip may take time. I understand this is tough. I don’t know about you but each and all of my Grandkids are worth my “Whatever it takes” attitude. I remember what my Dear, Dear Mother once told me. When all else fails there is always prayer. It wouldn’t hurt to fertilize your efforts with a call for help with our “It ain’t fair” thinking. I will acknowledge right here right now, It is not fair. Now what are we going to do about it? The answer; What is in the best interest of the child. AMEN
Thank You for being a Caring Grandparent. Grandpa NEIL
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