Building Brick by Brick, A Solid Foundation
Misperceptions and Lack of Knowledge Cause Complications in Extended Families
January 31, 2025
It Breaks My Heart That We Even Need Grandprents Rights
February 4, 2025
So, 2025 is here, and by the time you read this, the year is most likely 1/12th over. As a grandparent, time moves so fast that our intentions can be outpaced by it. Time felt slow when we were as young as our grandchildren, and events seemed forever away. Somewhere along life's journey, the tortoise and the hare switch places. But the power of intentional relationship-building is in your hands—it helps you keep up with time's quickening pace.
What can we do to strengthen our bonds with our grandchildren when life remains hectic?
Many grandparents still work hard in their careers, while retirees fill their schedules with hobbies, volunteering, and passion projects. With only a few precious moments to connect, it's easy to feel overwhelmed.
After spending over 250 hours talking with grandparents, grandchildren, and experts, I've learned it's nearly impossible for a caring grandparent to do everything. Many grandparents burn out trying to be "the best" in the short time we recognize we have left. Trying to do it all can even create stress and frustration in your relationship with your grandchild's parents. That's why it's important to remember that your relationship with your grandchildren—especially young ones—is a triangle: you, the grandchild, and their parents. Finding balance is key to keeping this relationship healthy.
So, in 2025, how do we grow our relationship with our grandchildren? We build it intentionally, one brick at a time, creating a solid foundation. This isn't about doing less; it's about doing things with purpose. You don't have to do everything at once. Instead, focus on small, meaningful actions that add up over time.
Don't pressure yourself or your grandchild's family this year by becoming "too much."
For example, my grandchildren are all under six. I've been sending monthly postcards to the two oldest for the past few years. Their moms say they love getting physical mail, and it's become something they look forward to. I have another grandchild who is old enough to appreciate it, so I'm adding her to the list. Additionally, this year, I'll send short video messages once a month or every couple of weeks.
Instead, choose one additional connection point that you can maintain consistently. And be okay if it doesn't go exactly as planned. If you have multiple grandchildren, aim to make this addition something that can include them all, adjusting as needed based on age and interests.
Depending on schedules, I'll still enjoy in-person visits, video calls, and maybe a summer adventure. However, I will be highly intentional about the postcards and video messages. Since these activities rely on their moms' participation, I'll check in with them to make sure my efforts aren't overwhelming their already busy lives.
If you want to make a meaningful impact as a grandparent, keep these tips in mind:
- Strong foundations are built slowly and deliberately. Small, intentional actions create lasting relationships.
- Your relationship with your grandchildren is a triangle, not just a straight line. A strong connection includes their parents.
- Being a caring grandparent means doing what you can when you can. You don't have to do it all to make a difference.
- Consistency matters as much as grand gestures. A steady presence, whether through letters, calls, or visits, reinforces your love just as much as an in-person hug.
Best of luck in strengthening your relationships this year. And remember, you don't have to wait until the next New Year to start adding to your foundation!
About the Author
Greg Payne is the proud father of two sons and a Cool Grandpa to four fantastic grandchildren. He hosts The Cool Grandpa Podcast, where he interviews grandfathers about how they make their relationships cool. Greg also interviews adult grandchildren about their experiences with their grandfathers and experts in areas important to grandfathers. He has written the award-winning children’s book My Grandpa’s Grandpa. He is married to Karen Mangum and lives with their crazy beagle, Roxy, in Atlanta, Georgia.
