The
Possible
Roads
The good news is that I don’t intend to go on about each of these different paths to what we want but rather to underscore that there are other paths. In the two books I have written on Grandparenting and my 30+ years of being a Caring Grandparent, the core premise of my books and the question I have discerned is, “How much do you want to pay to be right?”
I understand that it is far more vital that I abandon the ole “We had to walk 5 miles to school in freezing and blowing snow, and it was uphill both ways.” lectures with my extended family. I have instead come to know that I can add soooooo much more value to the family, the parents, and the Grandkids if I keep my eye on the main thing, “The best interest of the Grandchildren.”
We can have the whole conversation about fairness and being right another time, but I can assure you that if your main goal is to connect with your Grandkids meaningfully, there is an extraordinary dose of wisdom in the words of this article. These words come from my three decades of reading, writing about, and listening to stories of Grandparents of all stripes and some of the complications of their extended families.
Let’s look at Mr. Peck’s first path. “Delaying gratification.” When things are not going as well as you would like in the family, it is easy to come to the proverbial fork in the road where you can choose the path of righteous indignation as to how you feel someone is not treating your child with due respect or keeping your mouth shut and getting to spend more meaningful time with your Grandchildren. You can be RIGHT in each case; which do you choose? Please believe me when I tell you this is the number one cause of Grandparents’ estrangement.
I wish it weren’t so, but as Grandparents, we must choose our roads carefully.
Thanks for being a Caring Grandparent