“The belief that youth is the happiest time of life is founded on a fallacy. The happiest person is the person who thinks the most interesting thoughts, and we grow happier as we grow older.” WILLIAM LYON PHELPS
I just turned 65 last week and it has provided me with a reason to reflect. One of the neat things about grandparents is that we have an easy time finding Joy in our grandkids and happiness in watching our kids raise them. If you are someone who has trouble seeing the Joy that is created and experienced by these incredible, naturally creative, energetic bundles of wonder then I am not sure you are reading the right blog. My vision for this blog is to share my thoughts on the experience of being a caring grandparent and hope that those who read this will share their own thoughts, either on what I have written or whatever is on your mind. I tend to be a positive kind of guy so most posts will be warm and fuzzy, however, there are some subjects that need addressing that are more serious in nature.
The term that is most searched for in this area is Grandparents rights. I have read a considerable amount about this and I have come to learn that in this fast moving and fast changing world the ability for grandparents to visit their grandchildren on a regular basis is not as easy as it should be. I am blessed that I don’t suffer this void in my life but I do want to open a forum for those with these issues to share their experience and challenges. It is my understanding that most states don’t have clear laws about grandparents rights and that those that do are less than adequate.
Another source of great interest is what new grandparents are going through and what kinds of things they can expect in the future. This is the group that experiences the greatest serving of unadulterated Joy. The miracle of these small people is just what a new grandparent deserves for all they went through to get to this time in their lives. Ain’t life neat?
For now I want to return to this idea of Joy and Happiness. I love that quote by William Phelps since that has been my experience. I have to admit that I am the luckiest guy I know but I also realize that the more I pursue this happiness business the luckier and consequently, happier I become.
I have studied a bit about the Declaration of Independence and how we got here from there. An interesting bit of history is that when Thomas Jefferson was framing this document he spent some time and many revisions with the idea to grant each citizen “Life, Liberty and Happiness. After a period of time he chose to add “the pursuit of” in front of the word happiness. Now that really changes things doesn’t it?
Before Jefferson got hold of this phrase he was preceded some 5 years earlier by Samuel Adams and John Locke who wrote extensively about Life, Liberty and Happiness. Their sources seemed to come from Scripture, (See Mathew 5 and Revelations 19.7). Enough history lessons. I share this detail only to make the point that I am glad Thomas Jefferson didn’t give the power to the state to grant us happiness. I honestly think that the hard fought efforts I put forth to find good and happiness in my world allows me to own and enjoy this quiet and warm feeling I call happiness.
Here are a couple of the things that work for me. I always get down on the floor and get at eye level when I communicate with a small child, silly yes, but it really, really works. I really listen to peoples stories, I find them fascinating, and it adds much to my life as well.
I hope reading this rant brings you some value, I will tell you that it does me a world of good just to offer these thoughts to all. As they say at Chick-Fil-A, “it’s my pleasure”.
BE HAPPY AND WELL. NEIL
One of the tenets of my Dale Carnegie training is that we should speak in…
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Hey Neil!
I'm not a grandparent however I'm a witness to the joy and happiness that little ones bring to your life.
I was babysitting my nephew this morning and he's becoming less of a baby and more like his daddy. LOL! Now this is quite challenging for Aunt Nissa. I’ve tried various punishments, timeout and even spanking. None of these things seems to work. He goes right back to the business of being a “BOY”. So I decided to try something new. I got down on my knees and looked him in his eyes and told him that I loved him, he’s a good boy but I’m disappointed and hurt by his behavior and the language that he uses. He shed the biggest crocodile tears but the rest of the morning was GREAT! He even said to me as he was leaving, “I’ll be back tonight.”
Of course, Aunt’s will never tell on their nieces or nephews so what I’m about to share really touched my heart. His mom just called and said to me, “I have to tell you what your nephew said to me.” He said, “I love Aunt Nissa she is so beautiful!”
My cheeks are hurting because I cant stop smiling!
Thanks for sharing Neil!
Your BIGGEST fan,
Annissa