As I age I have migrated away from helping my friends and family move from place to place. My evolution has taken on the flavor of writing more and doing less (not a bad idea at 77). When I couple this with the mission of this blog and it’s 350 articles I am motivated to make the best of this time. One of the writing approaches I have worked hard on is to lean into the “Socratic Method” and move away from the “I am old and you should listen to me” method. I have also incorporated this into my frequent conversations with my now teen Grandkids. This is precisely why I have placed a question mark at the end of my title.
What is the Socratic Method?
Developed by the Greek philosopher, Socrates, the Socratic Method is a dialogue between teacher and students, instigated by the continual probing questions of the teacher, in a concerted effort to explore the underlying beliefs that shape the students views and opinions.
The focus is not on the participants’ statements but on the value system that underpins their beliefs, actions, and decisions. For this reason, any successful challenge to this system comes with high stakes—one might have to examine and change one’s life, but, Socrates is famous for saying, “the unexamined life is not worth living.”
Okay, let’s see how I am doing. I have two or three of my beautiful teen minds gathered around the dining room table and I ask things of each individually like; “What are you reading recently that you learned something new from?” Each has their turn, uninterrupted, to share their interest. Then I revisit each conversion to ask what each thought of what the other said. This sparks some interesting and valuable conversation. The real win-win is that each has their moment to shine and their eyes do not glaze over as Grandpa Neil tells them what a wise old man (Wise guy) he is. I am reminded of the dinner table practice of John F. Kennedy’s father Joseph Kennedy. Each evening at dinner he is said to have ask each child in order around the table what interesting thing happened to them that day and they had the floor to themselves. Thinking back some very impactful folks came from that family. Maybe there is something to this stuff of which I write.
Can you see where this would raise up your Grandkids in their own eyes? The side benefit of this is that you will learn a great deal about what goes on in their lives that you had no idea about.
I was a Youth Minister for a season of my life and I learned to shut up and listen when I got them talking. Now, some 45 years later, I run into some of my youth group charges and they will say things like “Remember when we talked about the other kids in our group that were going through the same stuff I was. That really came in handy in years to come.”
I offer this as a possibility for you with your Grandchildren with the hope that it can enrich your connection with them.
In keeping with the spirit of Socrates “What do you have to lose?”
Thank You for being a Caring Grandparent.
One of the tenets of my Dale Carnegie training is that we should speak in…