Some of us Senior Grandparents remember that song that in 1965 OTIS REDDING wrote and performed. In 1967 ARETHA FRANKLIN made it very famous. This song still holds sway today. You would be well within your right if you ask “What does this have to do with Caring Grandparents?”. The answer is that I set out to write an article about the #1 Best Practice for Caring Grandparents.
RESPECT goes further than reaction
There are those who don’t want to hear it but as much as we LOVE, LOVE, LOVE our Grandchildren they are their Parent’s children, not ours. Now before you all get upset with the messenger please realize that I wrote two books on Grandparents Rights that cover the unfortunate group of dysfunctional families where “Normal” family hierarchy doesn’t apply, so I am aware that not all is well in family matters. Most Grandparents have Grandchildren on a spectrum that runs from living next door and seeing one set of their Grands almost daily but being miles from others and the visits are less frequent. Some even suffer the insult and injury of estranged parents that will not allow Grandparent visits. it runs the gambit and sometimes within the same family. The bad news is that even in these circumstances RESPECT goes further than reaction.
The 300+ articles on this Caring Grandparents blog abound with subjects about that disadvantaged segment of Grandparenting but this article is directed at the vast majority of you who are Caring Grandparents with more normal interaction with your Grands. The best way I can illustrate my point is to tell the story of how I Grandparent.
My oldest Grandson is in his 30s but I still ask my daughter regularly if there is anything I can do to plus my Grandson. My son is father to 3 beauuuuutiful youngins. My Grandaughters are 15 and 14 and my grandson is 12. Atleast once a week my son and I run through what is going on in the lives of the kids. This serves more than one purpose; I can reinforce what he and his wife are doing in the rearing of this bunch and I can better communicate meaningfully with the kids when I talk with them, which is about once a week. When I have the kids for an overnight or day trip I always ask what the limits are on food, bedtime, etc. While I enjoy treating them to ice cream I will only do it if it is okay with Mom and/or Dad, which it usually is.
I coordinate things like Christmas gifts so that, even though it may be a surprise to the Grandchild, it is not a surprise to the parents. These are just a couple of ways in which I show R-E-S-P-E-C-T for the parents. I will be writing a lot more articles about Grandparent gift giving since it can be source of soooooo much good, if done properly. The double win comes as the kids know that all the adults in their lives pay attention to and LOVE them enough to look out for the “Best interest of the Child”.
Thanks for being a Caring Grandparent.