I am getting more comfortable in this unique position afforded by being a Grandparent each year. It is like icing on a yummy cake of life. Like you all, I had paid my dues by scaring myself half to death when I was thrust into the role of a parent early in my marriage. We brought home this cute little bundle of Joy, and then we had to get down to the nitty-gritty of trying to keep this energizer bunny from hurting himself and destroying everything in his path. Ahhhhhhhhh, alas, that is now what my kids have to do. As we say in the south, “God Bless their little pea pickin hearts.”
“God Bless their little pea pickin hearts.”
“The reality of life is that it is complicated. The reality of family life is that it is a multiple of complicated, and the reality of extended family is exponentially complicated”.
Now I get to exercise my Grandparents’ Rights and Responsibilities. In other words, I get to enjoy the cake and the icing. My wife and I took parenting seriously; consequently, my kids are excellent parents. That makes this Grandparenting deal a lot less stressful. I realize that is only sometimes the case when we have a high divorce rate, and families strung out all across this country, and some extended families that don’t function as the Good Lord intended. The truth is that most families fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of functionality. In my Grandparents Rights book, I wrote, “The reality of life is that it is complicated. The reality of family life is that it is a multiple of complicated, and the reality of extended family is exponentially complicated”.
One of the sayings that most people hate to hear is, “It is what it is.” This becomes even more abrasive if it applies to a situation we have little power to change. If you find yourself in a situation where part of your extended family is on the exponentially complicated end of the spectrum, your options may be limited but seldom nonexistent. You may have to read many books and consult many people, but I implore you to keep going.
I suggest you guard yourself against doing ANYTHING that will make matters worse. I wrote many chapters addressing some of the strategies folks have employed that worked. Still, the one thing I observed repeatedly was that Grandparents were confusing Fair and the need to be right with the goal of spending time with their Grandchildren. I guarantee you those are two often mutually exclusive things.
You have the POWER to find a way. You have the Responsibility to find a way.
Please be mindful of keeping the best interest of your Grandkids in mind.
Thank You for being a Caring Grandparent.