Our job as human beings is to add value to all we meet. Big order, I know. Our unique position as Grandparents allows us the opportunity and responsibility to add compelling value to those beautiful gifts we call Grandchildren.
In my almost eight decades on this spaceship called Earth, I have been a busy guy trying to connect with as many people as possible. In doing so, I have come to realize that each person I met wanted just one thing, they wanted to feel significant. They each want to matter. I want to be clear, and some people do some crazy stuff to achieve what they perceive to be significant. We all remember doing some pretty strange things as children to garner attention, albeit negatively. No matter. It just underscores my premise. People crave significance.
As Grandparents, we have a unique position to magnify our contribution to our Grandchildren greatly. We are not scary strangers on the street. The question is, how do we enhance this connection to help with this power of helping them to feel more significant?
I am not advocating the “Everybody gets a big trophy” mentality. What I see as meaningful is meeting those beautiful and creative young imaginations at the intersection of their interests, emotions, and fears. Finding out all we can about where they are at this time in their lives, what they like, who their friends are, what they fear, and what they are curious about. It is understandable if you are saying, “Wait a minute, this could be hard .”How do you get this information out of them, especially a preteen or teenager?”
LISTEN
LISTEN
LISTEN
Wallah! The simple, not necessarily, easy answer is to ask better questions and then LISTEN, LISTEN, and LISTEN. I see only two challenges with this approach. The first is coming up with good questions requiring a multi-word answer. You know, other than “How was school”? The other is that most of us aren’t the best listeners.
I have a friend that was a Young Pasot, Psychologist, and Family counselor that has written many books of the “ART” asking meaningful, open-ended questions of young people in the context of family. I will share these questions and some stories in future articles on this site.
In the meantime, I commend you for being interested and Loving enough to consider putting in the work necessary for a more meaningful connection with your Grandkids.
Thanks for being a Caring Grandparent.
One of the tenets of my Dale Carnegie training is that we should speak in…